she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
