So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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