i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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