She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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