Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
