She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize