youre lurking in front of me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
