My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
