Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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