So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
