some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
