I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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