On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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