i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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