everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
