i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
