the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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