dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
