How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize