is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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