It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
