I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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