My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
