She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
