I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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