we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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