she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
