i would punch a child for taco bell
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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