Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize