My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
