girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
