at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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