i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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