Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
