fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
