and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've blown a few things in my day
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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