i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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