And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
