Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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