Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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