Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
