some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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