i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
