for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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