i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
