i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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