I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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