The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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