There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
