i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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