I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
