ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
