and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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