Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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