I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize