You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
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WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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