I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
