She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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