Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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