Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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